Part deux...cart doodoo

OK so you've seen my humble beginnings, littered with dirty needles, trash, nasty pee smelling cardboard that was someones bed the night before...It was a turd and I was determined to polish said turd an d make it something really sweet! No pun intended:)

First things first is to literally tear everything out and gut this baby wide open. If this cart is going to have a chance it must be defouled from top to bottom..a full gallon of bleach is in order as well as some serious gloves. When I mentioned that things were smelling a little shitty I wasn't joking.

We need to do a serious power washing of this cart, including the under carriage and I enlisted my dear friend Chad to help me out with this task. Chad showed up with his dad's trusty power washer ready to take action...he had no idea what "little gifts" were waiting for him.

Chad fires up the washer, hot water blasting off months and months of weather decay, bird shit, food debris and we begin to see the true illustrious color of the cart. When Chad makes his way to the under belly of thy beast I take a few good steps back and witness the sheer power take hold. Rotten food, soiled clothes, socks, underwear, needles, cigarette butts, coke cans that were obviously used for more than just a frosty beverage flew out from under the cart like someone had given them the ol' boot to the ass. Suddenly, I see a medium sized yogurt container come skidding out from under the cart and there it lay resting about twenty feet ahead. Even though it was twenty feet in front of us there was no mistaking the familiar smell of shit. Yup, someone shit in a cup and stashed it under the carto. Perhaps, they were saving it for later usage? I looked up at Chad and the grimace on his face will forever be burned into my memory.

"I think I got some on my shoes..." Chad quipped as he wiped off his eye glasses.

I couldn't help but chuckle at this and I really felt bad for dear sweet Chad, but I was also relieved that it wasn't me. That doesn't mean that in the very near future I wouldn't have a face off of my own with a giant turd nestled next to my cart. Apparently, the nook in front made for a great living, sleeping and shitting environment. I'm SO glad that people felt SO welcome that they could just shit:)

All I can say is thank you God for Portland Clean and Safe Crew! I bribed them with cupcakes many a time to come and do a "turd sweep" for me. It didn't even seem to faze them as I watched them scoop, and plop the turd into the bucket and quietly roll on to the turd gig. I know I wasn't the only poor soul that had an uphill battle with the late night turd phantom.

Owning a cart downtown and turds I guess goes hand in hand. I know this is gross and I generally make people happy with sugary sweetness, but this is the nitty gritty details that I feel like I need to get off my chest.

If you intend on opening a cart downtown, then prepare yourself for a turd battle. Some tools to have on board: kitty litter to absorb nasty things, heavy gloves, a mask or bandanna, a scooper and lots of bleach. This is your armor against the fangled turd dusters of the night. Be ready.